A Recipe for Ahab

By Anthony Giampetro (Ahab)

•  1 barrel of vine-ripened lines of Orson Welles’ dialogue from a half-mad, tortured, one-legged Whaling Captain
• 1 bucket of your concentrated, boiled-down understanding of Melville’s Moby Dick
• Peel and chop finely any background information, descriptions, motivations, likes and dislike etc… of said Captain and sauté until tender. Don’t’ overcook or it will overwhelm the flavor of the Ahab
• A long wooden implement by which to move the Ahab about is a necessity
• Stir
• Make sure you are properly attired during the preparation and especially the final presentation of the Ahab
• Stir
• Deglaze with wine because wine makes everything better. Have some yourself you deserve it.
• Stir
• Pour entire contents into a try-pot and bring to a slow simmer. This cannot be rushed
• Keep stirring
• An accent will do to enhance your Ahab but don’t use a heavy hand
• Stir
• Add a bit of sugary sweetness to humanize your Ahab or he may be too bitter to take
• Stir
• Salt and Pepper your Ahab (preferably sea-salt) to bring out the full flavor and depth of character
• Invite 80 to 100 friends, acquaintances, strangers and seat them about a tastefully lit, well-appointed sideboard and pour out your Ahab over al-dente Spermacetti.
• Enjoy